image: Valeria Myronenko of Aliya Lucas
Every year, we try and set external goals that we think will make our life “better.”
We shoot for the stars, but know deep down that we will land right back on Earth, maybe even right where we started, after the first few weeks of the New Year come to pass.
And that’s okay.
Because down here, on Earth, in your body, is where all of these goals will always start and end.
But doesn’t that mean we should start our resolutions there? In the foundational body-self place before we launch anything from it?
I think so.
And thus, I have created for you, a list of ways to love yourself, the catalyst for your whole experience, even more than you already do, going into this Year and beyond.
Way #1: Forgive yourself.
This is a tough one, but so necessary.
As soon as possible, write down all of the times you feel you did something “wrong” and have been carrying the weight of that choice since. List everything even if it seems small and insignificant. If it crosses your mind, it matters.
Then, read each one, but begin with “I forgive myself for…”
Read the list, starting with “I forgive myself for..” before each one over and over again until you feel a sense of release. Then, tear that paper up, burn it, whatever will release it from your space.
These less-than-great decisions are what got you to where you are today. You are who you are now because of them, not in spite of them.
The past is something you cannot change. You don’t need to spend time trying to do the impossible in an effort to redeem yourself or prove that you are worthy of the good things that you have and that are coming to you.
You are worthy of them all, just the way you are.
Carrying the weight and shame from past mistakes helps no one, and I think it’s time you give yourself the ultimate gift of forgiveness and let them go.
Number 2: Stop telling yourself old, unhelpful stories.
How do you expect to implement anything new, or love yourself fully, when you keep replaying old narratives in your head that convince you that you’re limited?
“I really hate exercising, but I really want abs, so my resolution this year is to go to the gym at least three times a week.”
If you keep telling yourself that you “hate exercise” how are you ever going to make going to the gym a sustainable practice? Same with “I’m just not good at writing,” or public speaking, or drawing, or whatever you keep attempting but refuse to let go of your old, useless story about. Everyone started out as a fresh, incapable baby and had to learn how to do everything they know. There’s no use in believing that just because you have had a hard time with something before that you need to live out that narrative, or assume some kind of static “I can’t” identity around it for the rest of your life.
This year, it’s time to change your story.
If you think it seems like I’m telling you to lie to yourself, you’re right. It may seem like lying at first. Positive, affirming narratives are often a fake-it-’til-you-make-it type of situation. This is mostly because the society we live in teaches us to be ”realistic” which loosely translates to “set the bar low enough for you to prove to yourself that you’re not enough.”
Society does this because once your subconscious catches on to a new, glorious story (which will come from repetition and fierce commitment to your belief in that story) it will be forced to make this encouraging narrative true, and thus, you’ll be unstoppable-and a society based on submission and domination can’t have that. Which should give you all of the incentive you need to try it!
Number Three: Make more room for fun!
This one is probably annoying because it seems obvious, but it really isn’t.
How often do you actually schedule in things that make you feel so good and carefree you don’t even remember to take pictures or post about them on Instagram? I’m guessing not very often.
Make having fun a daily priority in your life, and really commit to whatever activity or scenario you choose while you’re in it, and watch your life change.
Number Four: Invest in yourself.
Whether it be financial or time-based, an investment in something means you’re serious about it, because you’re offering it the most precious currency humans have.
Do this for yourself.
Enroll in a course on a subject you’ve always been curious about but never let yourself fully dive into. Give yourself time to make things just because you want to, or get back to an old skill that you dropped because it wasn’t making you money and/or no one else realized how cool and important it was.
Buy yourself a service that will make your life easier, like a grocery or laundry delivery service, so you can buy some of your time and sanity back. Plan that trip you’ve been talking about for ages, or get your nails done.
Whatever is it, pick one thing for now, and then see how often (monthly? yearly? weekly?) that you can commit to making an investment in yourself, however big or small, and write. it. on. the. calendar.
And the final one is to trust yourself.
If your New Year’s resolution was to redirect your thinking every time you second-guess yourself, that alone would make an incredible impact on your life.
You’ve gotten yourself this far, but what always gets in your way when you’re making true, scary progress?
Mostly, yourself.
Think about all of the times you second-guessed yourself or chose not to trust your gut. How did those situations play out? How much time, energy, and maybe even money, did you waste?
This year, whenever you start to veer off into Spiral Central, a town whose only tune is “But what if I make the wrong decision and ruin my life?” sit down, close your eyes, take three deep breaths and repeat, “I am blessed, protected and divinely guided. I trust myself and the universe to guide me in the right direction,” until you are safely back on the four-lane highway of endless possibility, again.
You deserve an unreal amount love and a beautiful life, and you already have the tools to provide this for yourself within you.
This is the year you prove it.
I love you and I am so excited to see how these rituals and tools help to embolden you as you walk into another year of the glorious unknown.
Xx
Jaliessa